James 1:27 Family

Ah, the simple life

2012-01-09T17:02:00.000-05:00

Free ping pong at the community center with some really cool kids..... so thankful.

Los oídos de mi hija

2011-12-26T17:26:00.000-05:00

I got the flu for Christmas so Court took Sarah to her ear check-up last week at our super duper ear doctor 2 1/2 hours away. He said that her ears look great but she needs one little surgery in a week and a half.

The surgery isn't a big deal like her other ear surgeries and it will help her ears stay healthy and continue to heal so she really needs it. But it's another time being put to sleep and another big trek out-of-town. She can't eat after midnight the day before the surgery, and for this reason, the surgery center is so nice to put the kids first on the list. This means that we'll have to get a hotel room and get up at 3:30am to make it to the surgery center by 5:00am for check-in. The hotel that we stay in knows us by now and they give us a huge discount because they know that we are coming for medical reasons. Also a big blessing. Since she can't have anything to eat or drink, she misses her morning dose of antiretrovirals on the days that she has things like this. We.never.ever.ever.miss.her.meds. I don't think it's a big deal because it really only equals a few times a year but I just don't like to miss.

But I won't lie and say that I'm not super glad that this should be her last surgery for awhile. We're so thankful to live in a country where this medical treatment is so readily available and now we're ready to take a break. :)

Speaking of medical stuff, we started a blog to document Sarah's Make-A-Wish. There isn't much on it yet, but if you'd like to follow, it's http://sarahswish.wordpress.com/.

Sarah's becoming quite the little model. She asks us all the time, "Mommy, take pit-choes." Today she did all these funny poses and then she showed me what she learned in gym class with Grandma.

Posing...

Stretching....

Not sure what this was....

This is a "tay-boh."

Great Christmas

2011-12-25T20:00:00.000-05:00

We had an incredibly blessed Christmas.

Dare I risk sounding ungrateful but my heart just couldn't shake the thought that there was some little people missing.....

Dear Little Ones,

I've been thinking about you so much. We had empty seats at our table for Christmas dinner and I was wishing that you were sitting in them. We had space under our tree for more gifts and I was wishing there were some there for you. We had empty spaces in our car on the way to Christmas Eve service at church and Christmas Day service this morning and I was wishing that you were sitting in them. We didn't quite fill a whole pew at church and I was wishing that you were there to help fill it. I've been daydreaming about what you are doing. Beautiful Princess - Have you been dancing lately? I'm looking forward to dancing with you again and splashing in the water. Little Prince - Have you been playing ball? Have you been tickling your own neck and making that super cute sound? I can't wait to hug you and be silly together again. There are warm beds in our house and I can't wait to tuck you in and say goodnight prayers with you and thank God that we'll never have to be so far apart again. I love you so much!

Merry Christmas, my sweet little ones,

Mommy

There are no Pitchforks

2011-12-21T20:02:00.001-05:00

Been reading more Amy Carmichael to the kids today. I don't know if they are learning anything but I am soaking in so much. Loved this today.

One can't save and then pitchfork souls into heaven...Souls are more or less securely fastened to bodies... And as you can't get the souls out and deal with them separately, you have to take them both together.

Amy Carmichael

I have some great friends who are working with ministries serving God's people.

One is Amy Block. She's a phenomenal human being. Period.

She is living in Guatemala taking care of orphans and other people in need with her husband and SEVEN children of her own while her TWO oldest are here in the US attending college.

Their home has become full and they just received a new big sibling group of children who have been eating dirt to stay alive. Please consider visiting Amy's blog or Eagle's Nest to make a $10 donation to help these little ones.

My other sweet friend, Joy, is looking for people to vote for Sixty Feet in a contest that could win them money to support the children they serve in Uganda. Here is the information from Joy about the organization giving the money...

"Cultivate Wine is a company that gives away 10% of their profits each month to non-profits that benefit education and basic human needs. There are really 4 winners - the first gets $10,000 and the three runners-up get $5,000 each. Would you please help SixtyFeet win one of these grants? It's super easy! All you have to do is register (http://www.cultivatewines.com/register) and then vote (http://www.cultivatewines.com/cause/2971/). But it gets better! You can vote once per day!! I've had some friends set "The Give" page as their browser home page (http://www.cultivatewines.com/cause/2971/) just to remind them to vote while others have set a reoccurring alarm on their smartphone...the website (http://www.cultivatewines.com/cause/2971/) automatically pops up on their smartphone screen, they tap it, go to the website and voila! "

Yes, this is a random, unrelated photo. And yes, he's wearing his sister's sparkly headband.

For God So Loved the World

2011-12-16T16:30:00.001-05:00

We spent the afternoon with our new prayer journals. I've been having a hard time balancing my mom duties and prayer time so I thought I might combine them and it's working really well. I bought spiral notebooks for each child and we followed the suggestions I received many years ago from Pastor Miles at The Rock Church.

1. Write petitions in the front half. (Stuff you are asking God for.)
2. Write praises in the back half. (Starting on the last page and going backwards.)
3. Never scratch off anything until it's answered. I have some things in there from 10 years ago. I have some things I'll never know, like "Pray for the woman living in the shed in Jamul." I don't even know her name. But I really believe that one day I'm going to know about that woman in Heaven and I will be blessed that I never scratched her off my prayer list.

Then the kids and I just sit around the living room and spend time praying. Tyrese likes to pray aloud so he goes in another room for privacy.

Today after prayer time we read more chapters of Amy Carmichael's biography. The chapters we read today were about the period in her life when many people she loved died around the same time. Another very close friend was very ill and people were asking her why she wasn't praying the prayer of healing for her friend. She said that she wanted only for God's will to be done in her life.

On a side note.... Our adoption update (or really non-update) is that we haven't heard a word in over a month. We've sent message after message and nothing. Meanwhile, the kids are still waiting for a forever place to live. And my heart longs for them to be home.

I thought about what Amy Carmichael said. I want to change my plea with God to simply, "Your will be done." We will still keep sending messages. Still keep balancing our budget to come up with the money needed for this adoption. We'll still keep trying to get them home until the Lord closes the door or brings them home. But for now, let it be, God's will be done.

After reading about Amy, we sang this song together that the kids are loving right now.

Sarah is really into all things "Christmas" this year and she's making every part of it so much fun for the rest of us.

Kellen is growing up so quickly. He's starting to decide his own hair style. I guess some kids have probably been doing this for a while now but our family is a little fashion-challenged so we just go get a $8 haircut every now and then and shower regularly. That's about it. (His shirt says, "He's got the widows and the orphans in His hands." And I love that he chooses to wear this.)

So proud of his new style. :)

LOTS of stockings hanging.... just in case. :)

Love them to pieces!

Not my will

2011-12-11T21:06:00.000-05:00

My heart has been aching for some special little ones to be home very soon. Adoption is not easy. It's not easy for any of the parties involved. There is a lot of waiting and waiting and waiting.

This weekend was packed full of family fun.

And I was missing them and wishing they were home.

We went to Court's work Christmas party. His work is filled with awesome, nice people and the Christmas parties always include kids. They had a white elephant gift exchange and the kids had a blast. I personally think I took home the best gift because I "stole" a Justin Bieber singing toothbrush from our friend, Rick. Oh, yes I did!

And Sarah was so pooped after all the fun.

And I was missing them and wishing they were home.

Today we put up our Christmas tree and it was a blast.

The kids hung up all of the ornaments by themselves this year.

And I was missing them and wishing they were home.

Tonight we went Christmas caroling through our neighborhood with our church. I've never been caroling and never received carolers before and it was so cool. I almost started to cry when the people would open their doors and their faces would light up.

Then after we went back to church and drank hot apple cider, hot cocoa, roasted smores and went on a hay ride.

I mean, what a great night!

And I was missing them and wishing they were home.

But alas, I remember that God is sovereign and perfect and His plan for them and us is perfect. Thank You, God, for not giving what I want. Thank You for always giving me what You want me to have.

Remembering Our Military Families at Christmas

2011-12-07T21:41:00.000-05:00

This is from my friend, Angel. We met Marvin and Angel 10 years ago at the very first Bible study we ever attended as a married couple. Marvin played the guitar and sang for our worship time. They are sweet as they come.

Marvin is in our military and well, frankly, so is Angel and their FIVE little ones.

Please read this post by Angel.... It's so important for us to remember the sacrifices that our military families make so that we can sit at home in peace and safety.

This is not our first deployment. We have been doing this for 10 years now, you'd think it would get easier. It absolutely does not. Every single time we have to send Marvin off, we send part of hearts with him. I play through every memory he will not be a part of...again. I worry that our children will begin to doubt how very much they are loved because he is absent so much of the time. I worry that they will feel a huge void because of the decisions we have made. I think about the very lonely evenings after I put the kids to bed. I wonder who I will laugh with at their silly antics. I think about the cold sheets that will greet me each night and cannot help but feel incredibly lonely. And then I dive into the promises of One that will never leave me nor forsake me. I remember why we made the choices we did, following what we knew to be God's will for our family. And in following after Him, He has promised to meet absolutely every need. He will be the Father to my children. As I teach them how very special they are to our Lord, they will have no doubts that they are loved so fully, even beyond what we as their parents on earth can ever love them. Marvin may miss out on many memories, but in those times, we can remember the ones he was here for. I am reminded that even if he were home every second, we could not meet the needs of our children completely. Only God can fully know them and meet all of their needs. All we can do is continue pointing our little ones back to their Father in heaven and trust Him. I smile because my God becomes so much more tangible to me when my husband is gone. I think it makes Him smile when I talk to Him about the silly things. He may not talk in ways that our ears can hear, but He fills me with a peace that is undeniable. The sheets are still cold, but flannel pajamas and warm socks will keep me warm until my hubby returns. Not to mention that the empty space is often taken up by a small warm body...or two :) There will inevitably be tears along the way, I am sure that my Savior understands that, for even He wept. After a few fall, I will shake them off and press on in faith. And the many times I completely fall on my face and start feeling sorry for myself, I'll come back and read these words.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, QUIAMBAO FAMILY, (AND ALL MILITARY FAMILIES) FOR THE SACRIFICES YOU MAKE FOR US! PRAYING THAT YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES ARE SAFE AND BLESSED!

Kinda Fat

2011-12-06T18:59:00.000-05:00

There are several things in my life that are KINDA FAT. One of them that I'm proud of is my car. It's huge. And I love it.

(Oh, and for those who love the environment and think that large families with their large cars are adding to world pollution, I'd love for you to research the actual pollution-per-person ratio for large families. I think you'll be very surprised.) Anywho...

But today I realized that I would not be able to go to the travel clinic in my big fat van. The clinic has a really skinny driveway lined by a brick building and huge tree trunks.

Our friend has her mini van parked in our garage while she is on a trip so I ~~pretty much stole~~ borrowed her van and off we went to the travel clinic.

As I was driving down the freeway, I felt like I was driving a Mini Cooper or a go-kart. It was so weird to be driving that tiny car.

I remember the day we bought our first minivan 10 years ago. We felt like we had traded in our fun cards and we were destined for a lifetime of diaper changes and boredom. I was so wrong.

I love my life. I love the busyness. I love the work, the bad hair cuts and thrift store clothes.

Because it's not about all of that. It's about love and hugs and laughter and belonging. And it's Jesus-soaked.

I feel so very blessed. Thank you God for the wonderful life You have given me. May I use it to bring You glory!

PS
If you were somehow mistaken that I am a good person to be friends with, let me set the record straight. After I took my friend's minivan without permission out of my nice dry garage, I drove it in the rain and then after several of us were not happy about getting shots, I fed my little darlings a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts in the minivan on the way home. I mean, the sign was flashing and I heard that it's some kind of child abuse not to stop and pick up a dozen. (T - In case you are reading this, we will be vacuuming your brand new minivan tomorrow for "home ec" during homeschool time. Promise.)

Updates, Cowgirls, Baptisms and Christmas Cards

2011-12-04T19:55:00.000-05:00

Jeffrey is feeling better. His healing was much slower than we thought it would be but we're so thankful that he's on the road to being back to his ol' self.

Court and Kellen were baptized together at church. Kellen went forward at church to ask our pastor if he could be baptized all on his own. What a super special moment for our family in the midst of some hard days.

Sarah is still hilarious!

In case I never actually get them into the mail, here's our Christmas card in a nutshell.

Plus a little photo of these two cuties who our hearts are so longing to bring home.

My mocking voice

2011-11-30T15:09:00.000-05:00

I love this song.

What lyrics stand out most for you?

For me, it's "Ashamed I hear my mocking voice call out among the scoffers."

Oh, it stings.

I am so forever grateful to be loved by Jesus so much that He could forgive me for all of my sins, all of my ugliness, all of my wrongs.

His love for us is so deep.

Not Too Late...

2011-11-18T16:15:00.000-05:00

Do you have 37 things left on your "to - do" list for today like I do?

Did you read The Bible to your kids today? I didn't. It's not TOO LATE!

I'm going now. I'm going to read them Proverbs 18 because it's the 18th. Then I'm going to read Psalm 18, 48, 78, 108, and 138 because those are the Psalms that line up with today.

Then we're going to read a chapter out of With Daring Faith about Amy Carmichael even though it's been ages since I read the last chapter.

Then we are going to sing these 3 songs together on YouTube....

It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be from the heart.

It doesn't have to be organized, it just has to be authentic.

It doesn't have to be at a certain time of the day, it just has to be sometime.

If you've missed a whole lot, you can start right now and there is no late fee, no consequence, no punishment.

I'm stepping away from the keyboard for something real.... Want to join me?

One of the toughest girls in the world

2011-11-16T18:22:00.000-05:00

* WARNING* Medical photos to follow....

Sarah had another major ear surgery yesterday. Here's the happy girl in the pre-op room. (Obviously unaware of the impending pain..)

Playing with one of the best brothers in the world....

All of this still just leaves me in awe. God is amazing. So so so so so amazing.

He knits our lives together in perfect timing and placement.

My dad is an ear surgeon. He's very well-respected in his profession. He's developed new surgeries and techniques and trained many physicians under him in the Navy. He does complex surgeries that other ear doctors can't do. So how cool is it that Sarah, with all her EAR problems, landed in our family?!?!?! So amazing how God puts people together. The only problem is that grandpas can't operate on their princess granddaughters. So for Sarah's major ear issues, Grandpa had to send us to his other ear expert doctor friend.

We are so grateful for Sarah's awesome ear surgeon. He is doing surgeries that only a handful of doctors in the whole world are doing. He and his father, who is also an ear surgeon, have developed many of the instruments and other tools used in modern ear surgeries. Both times that Sarah has had surgery, there have been other patients from all over the country waiting to see him. It is such a privilege to have him for Sarah's doctor. We can't say enough. Another doctor told us that the surgery that Sarah had would take about 8 hours in the operating room and a week in the hospital. Sarah's doctor does the surgery in under 4 hours and she gets to go home the same day.

Yesterday, the doctor found another skin/gunk/tumor behind Sarah's ear and removed it. He implanted a prosthetic ear drum since Sarah's ear bones had rotten away from infection. There is no guarantee but this could greatly improve Sarah's hearing.

After the surgery, Sarah had this monster bandage on her head and she was hurting so much.

She was really irritated with this IV in her foot.

By the time we were driving home, she already found her smile again.

She was given a prescription for heavy pain medication but she hasn't taken any. Today she is dancing and singing and playing like nothing happened at all. As our friend Rick said, "When I grow up, I hope to be as strong as Sarah."

Her ear has a nasty incision along the back but it will all heal and go back into place with time.

I put cotton in there for the photo so I wouldn't totally gross you out. Her ear is still draining some pretty nasty stuff which is a normal part of the surgery.

Poor girl can't catch a break in the hair department. Once we finally get her hair in good condition, she ends up having another procedure with some type of "stylish" shaving job.

Yes, that is her ear. And yes, she does still have one on the right. The one of the right is on her head where it is supposed to be. The poor left one looks like it's trying to reach out and grab someone. We usually catch a few stares in the grocery store during regular life. I think I might take a trip there soon just for kicks.

To help us through this difficult time, God was kind enough to allow us to receive great news that Sarah received a Make-A-Wish! We're so happy for our girl and we can't wait to see what great things are in store for her.

Thank you a TON for all the meals, babysitting, presents, cards, calls, e-mails, prayers and words of encouragement. We are so blessed!

Shoeless

2011-11-03T20:49:00.000-04:00

My friend sent me a very nice e-mail tonight and I almost fell off of my chair in full laughter at the end....

I thought I'd share for those of you parents out there that had a rough day and need a good laugh too...

P.S I thought you might enjoy this little mommy tid-bit:

I got out of the house alone the other night to do a Target run...and started to get out of the car to realize that I. HAD. NO. SHOES. ON. I'm not kidding...totally barefoot. But was I about to go home and return the next day with all three kids? No way. I walked barefoot (and pretty mortified) into Target and bee-lined for the shoe dept. I bought (really and truly) the LAST pair of flip flops in the store, which were about a size 12. I waddled to the register (because they were, of course attached by that elastic) in these shoes that looked like skiffs and ran into the security guard. I explained that I was not trying to steal them but was seriously lame enough to forget to wear shoes and I had to buy them to keep shopping. He looked at me like I was insane and waved me over to the register. I think he thought I was drunk.

Anyway, they were on sale for 66 cents, so that was good. I thought you'd appreciate that story. :)

I love basketball!

2011-11-02T20:50:00.000-04:00

This video is for the parents out there who are parenting kids who don't "fit in" and don't say the right things and don't act the right way and don't follow the rules and WHO FILL OUR LIVES WITH ENDLESS BLESSINGS!!!!

(Posted on FB from Court's cousin who is also parenting a child who doesn't fit in the box.)

This is an old one.... but still worth watching.

Beauty and Tragedy

2011-10-15T13:51:00.000-04:00

I saw a photo that should have been a happy photo but it made me feel sad.

It was a photo of about 8 moms and their adopted babies sitting on their laps.

I am a fierce proponent of adoption. I think all children deserve forever families. I don't think that sponsorships, foster care, boarding schools, orphanages are better places than loving forever families.

But this photo made me sad.

I was sad for the loss represented in the photo.

In order for me to arrive at being an adoptive mom and a foster mom, my children and my foster children had to endure great, tragic loss.

Children who are in need of adoption or fostering don't ever arrive at that need under happy circumstances.

Adoption and foster care is needed because of drug abuse, addiction, alcoholism, abuse, poverty, illness and death.

Adoption is a beautiful, wonderful thing.

It's an honor to be an adoptive parent.

Adoption should be supported and encouraged and celebrated.

But we should never forget to respect and mourn the tragedies and losses that occurred before and thus led to the need for adoption.

I think for our children's sake it's a good idea to be very real and celebrate that families can come together forever through adoption but we should also allow and accept that our children (and we) may also have times of grieving for the terrible things that happened to our children before they arrived in an adoptive family.

A life full of rainbows and lollipops (and denial) doesn't allow for much substance.

Sometimes we grow the most by overcoming the hard things.

Safely Home

2011-10-07T23:02:00.000-04:00

I've just started reading Safely Home by Randy Alcorn at the suggestion of my friend, Lydia.

Wow.

The third page of the book is the Dedication and it packs a punch...

"To Graham Staines,
who left his home in Australia to serve lepers in India for thirty-four years.

To Philip Staines (age ten) and Timothy Staines (age six), who at half past midnight on January 23,1999, as their father held his arms around them, were burned to death by a mob in India; murdered because of Whom they knew and served.

To Gladys Staines, who continues to minister to lepers and who said to all India, 'I am not bitter or angry. I have one great desire: that each citizen of this country should establish a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, who gave His life for their sins.'

To Esther Staines, Graham and Gladys's daughter (then age thirteen), who said, 'I praise the Lord that He found my father worthy to die for Him.'

To the hundreds of men, women, and children killed for Christ each day, ignored by the world but watched by the eyes of heaven- those of whom the world is not worthy."

Word!

2011-10-04T18:05:00.001-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eb9oYL_tsDE&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Good use of 33 minutes...

2011-09-28T20:52:00.000-04:00

The Promise

2011-09-23T20:08:00.000-04:00

We must be adopting because it's been a little hectic around here.... Our air conditioning broke down two days ago. Not really a big deal but when the repair man turned it on today, it started on fire and smoke was rising out of the unit. Um....what!?!?!?! Our refrigerator pooped out recently and we bought one that was on clearance. Now we know why. The freezer is broken and all of our food is topped with a nice protective ice covering.

All these bad things must mean that good things are on the horizon...

We celebrated Tyrese's Gotcha Day with a special dinner...

with just our handsome and beautiful crew.

The boys started flag football.

Jeffrey is not just playing in the dirt this year.

Court is coaching all of their teams.

Sarah is the best looking cheerleader in the stands.

And we woke up to this in our backyard today.

God is a promise keeper.

Give Them Time.... BICS and CALP

2011-09-14T16:11:00.000-04:00

Adoption is beautiful, but not easy. There are many different issues that arise for families. I want to write a series of posts in hopes of encouraging families who are walking through some of these hard times.

We have been foster/adoptive parents for about 9 years now, we've taken over 20 courses in foster and adoptive parenting, read a ton of books, watched a ton of videos, participated in many support and educational groups and all of which qualifies me to write.... um, nothing. I'll just be sharing from my heart and my experience and if there are any more "seasoned" parents out there, please please chime in.

There seems to be a sense of rushing to "fix" adopted and foster children once they arrive in our homes. That's not the point. We're not here to "fix" our children, we're here to love them and point them to Jesus. Healing needs time. Healing and learning and socializing don't happen overnight.

Time. Time. Time. We have to give them time.

And healing doesn't happen in a nice upward climb.

There is a little healing and then a little setback. And then some more healing and then a major setback. And the cycle goes on.

This post will be about language.

Before mommyhood, I was a bilingual elementary school teacher for a short time. I taught in a two-way bilingual classroom where we had approximately half of our students whose first language was English and half whose first language was Spanish. We alternated teaching in English and Spanish and the students became fluent in both their first language and the second language over time.

My teaching credential is called "multiple subject BCLAD (Bilingual Crosscultural, Language and Academic Development) with Spanish emphasis." Mouth full, huh? So, I do know quite a bit about language acquisition and I'm passionate about children and language learning. But..... if there is one thing I've learned in my 37 years is that I am an expert in nothing. So, I'll share what I know and you are welcome to share what you know too. :)

This post is for parents who are adopting or fostering a child whose primary language when they arrive in your home is different than your primary language.

Here are some important things to remember....

* It's scary for a child to not be able to communicate his/her needs with their caregiver. Refrain from saying "I can't understand you!" "Speak clearly!" in negative tones. Don't make fun of your child's lack of fluency in your language in front of your child to other people. They are smarter than we think and they know that you are ridiculing them. Don't mock your child's accent. It's great to celebrate your child's accent, but not in a negative way. After all, YOU don't know THEIR language either.

* Language is a part of who we are. It helps us relate to others and it shapes our world. English is not superior to other languages. It's not a "shame" that all people don't speak English. (Read in the Bible about the Tower of Babel and how God reacted when people all spoke the same language...) Your child is not less valuable because he/she doesn't speak English and we have to be intentional that we don't convey this wrong message to them. Have you ever noticed the attitude in American culture that if someone comes to visit the US we expect them to speak English but then when we go to another person's country we still expect them to speak English? Celebrate that your child knows another language and do what you can to help them maintain their language and feel special that they know another language. You could also make audio recordings of your child speaking their first language if you think there might be a chance that your child will lose their first language after learning your language. It will be such a treasure for them to hear when they are older.

* There is a specific way that our brain learns language and you can't fix it or rush it or change it......

Which leads me to BICS and CALP.....

BICS and CALP are two levels of language acquisition and they are very different.

BICS stands for Basic Interpersonal Communication Skills. This is a person's ability to communicate in a social setting in the new language. This type of language acquisition takes about 1-2 years.

CALP stands for Cognitive Academic Language Proficiency. This is a person's ability to think, compute, reason, read, write and interpret in the new language. This type of language acquisition takes 5-7 years.

Here are some links to sites discussing BICS and CALP...

http://www.everythingesl.net/inservices/bics_calp.php

http://esl.fis.edu/teachers/support/cummin.htm
and even a youtube video for those of us who would rather listen than read...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDQYkql-LpY

When your child comes into your home and doesn't speak your language, there are things you can do to help them acquire language at a more proficient level, but you can't speed up the clock. The brain can only move at a certain pace. It would be like saying that if you do A, B, and C you can get a 2 week old baby to walk. The brain isn't ready for that and you can't speed it up. But there are things that we do with our 2 week old babies so that they will be successful when the brain is ready for the body to walk.... we feed them and play with them and stimulate them.

Here are some things you can do to help your child who is learning a new language....

*Act things out. Be very expressive and intentional and clear when speaking.

*Provide a language-rich environment.... puppet show supplies, make-up and dress up supplies, pretend play, lots and lots of books, words on the walls, music throughout the day, pretend (or real, for brave parents) microphones, telephones, walkie-talkies.....

*Avoid negative tones in your voice and your body language because you are frustrated with the language barrier.

* Use visuals.

* Play games that use language.

* Watch children's TV shows and listen to music often. Hearing people other than the immediate family using the new language will help your child to acquire the new language.

* Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.Read to your child.

* There was one last thing.... um.... oh yeah.... Read to your child. :)

5 to 7 years..... There's no changing that. Embrace it, accept it. Love your child through this time of language acquisition and take the pressure off of them and you. It will come. It just takes time.

To my son-in-law's parents....

2011-09-09T13:25:00.000-04:00

I don't actually have a son-in-law yet... But he is in the world somewhere.

I really hope that his parents are talking to him about Jesus, about how to be a man, about how to love others before himself, and about seeking Truth.

I hope that when he gets a little older they tell him about HIV. I hope that they tell him that people who are HIV+ are not to be feared.

I hope they tell him that if he wants to marry a woman who is HIV+, he can do that safely. He can have biological children with her without passing the virus to their children.

I hope they are teaching him all of this because my beautiful princess deserves this. She is so precious. Her spirit is like nothing I've ever seen before. She can captivate a room. Her joy is overflowing.

Her future husband is one blessed guy.

This article linked below is so great and full of truth and hope and promise. It's about a family living to end the cycle of HIV by taking steps to make sure their children are negative.

Hooray for truth!

http://www.pedaids.org/What-We-re-Doing/Stories-of-Hope/Junior--Uganda

Foster Parenting - Follow-up and Boundaries

2011-08-30T09:16:00.000-04:00

I received a really great message with some questions regarding my last post about all the supplies needed to foster parent. This new foster parent is going to be living in a very small apartment near New York City. Space will be very limited.

Don't let space stop you!

My suggestion would be to pair down everything I suggested on the last list. Also, instead of buckets and buckets of supplies, maybe have lists and lists of people who would be willing to help.

There could be a list of friends who have children and might have hand-me-downs available. You could organize the list so that it had the genders and ages of all of your friends' children so that you would know who to call in need.

You could also ask your friends if they would be willing to be somewhat of a support team for urgent shopping. You simply can't be without diapers or formula for very long if you receive a baby unexpectedly. (And really, most foster placements are "unexpected.")

The ONLY requirement to be a foster parent is a willing and open heart. All of the physical needs and supply needs can be arranged. If you have a desire to open your heart to a child in crisis or a child in need, please do so. You'll never be sorry you did.

Boundaries

We made tons of mistakes as foster parents, adoptive parents, and regular ol' parents. (Actually, we make tons of mistakes every single day. If you don't, please let me in on your secret.)

We've also taken lots of classes to keep up our licenses, etc. We always dread going to the classes beforehand. "It's going to be so loooong and boooooring." We think. But we're always very thankful down the road for the preparation.

We've also seen many parents go into fostering and adopting completely unprepared and then they give up very early in the journey.

One piece of advice we received from classes, other parents, and support groups was about BOUNDARIES. Not your own, but those of the children who are coming to your home.

Imagine for a second that you are sitting on your couch. There is a loud, forceful knock at your door. People in your house are shouting and there is a violent interaction. Then you are guided to the door in whatever you have on.... maybe your pajamas, maybe your junky clothes, maybe your church dress.... Someone scrambles around for your shoes and finds last year's flip flops. Your heels have gone past the ends of the shoes and the front straps pinch your toes but there's no time to doddle so you are whisked into a car with strangers and told that "everything will be OK now." If you are "treated well," the officer or social worker may have a nice black trash bag and be willing to let you have up to 3 minutes to throw your entire life into the bag. (Are you starting to feel that nauseous feeling in your stomach? I am.) Then you arrive at an office and adults start calling around begging someone to take you in. They explain each of your flaws to the person on the other end of the line and hope that they'll take you anyway.

Then you arrive at the new family's home. It's in a new neighborhood. It's far from your school. How will you see your very best friend from down the street? The house is nice but it smells different, new. They show you to "your room" and it appears to be a storage closet with a cot in the middle. You put your black trash bag of your belongings under the cot and try to sleep for the remainder of the night.

In the morning you awake to the smell of breakfast. You go to the kitchen and see that the nice foster mother has made you a homemade breakfast. But it's eggs. And you hate eggs. Eggs make you feel sick all day long. She insists that "eggs are good for you." She tells you that you will need to eat them to have energy for your "new school."

This story goes on and on. And it's not fictional. It's real. Or the parts are real. Every single day. Kids are found in unsafe places every day and have to be shuffled into foster homes. There are not enough resources or time for police officers and social workers to ease the transition. It's just hard. So, so hard.

One girl arrived at her foster home and the foster dad was playing on the floor with all of the children. The dad began wrestling and tickling the kids. The little girl freaked out and began screaming inconsolably. You see, in her last home, when the "dad" said he wanted to "tickle her" it meant something very different.

Kids will be arriving to your home so scared and so confused. They will be mad and sad and depressed and who could blame them? They might not like your food. That's OK. It's all new to them. Don't force them to eat. Give them time and choices. Yes, it's difficult and annoying and wasteful. I had to make about 8 lunches one day for a 2 year old who refused to eat anything. After I had emptied my pantry and refrigerator, she still didn't eat. We went to church that night and she ate a giant plate full of cantaloupe. I tried to give her cantaloupe the next day and she refused. Don't take it personal. Kids in crisis are not easy to care for, but they need our patience and understanding. Don't allow yourself to get stressed. Just let it all roll off. Kids can feel our stress level. If you remain calm, it will help them to remain calm.

Touching will be an important boundary to respect. Some kids will hug you all day long because they have been missing that type of affection. Let them. If you are not a touchy-feely person, learn to be. Some kids will not want to be touched at all. It's so important to respect their boundaries. You will have no idea what types of trauma they have endured and you can trigger past hurts with unwelcome hugs, etc. Just simply ask first. "Would you like me to hug you goodnight?" "Would you like me to help you put on your sweater?" Sometimes you will have to touch a child just simply because it's something that needs to be done to take care of them. Bathing toddlers is a delicate time. Just talk through the whole thing and give them as much privacy as possible. You certainly can't leave a toddler in a bath tub unattended but you can help ease their fears. Talk through the whole thing, "Now we are going to turn on the water. Now we are going to wash your hair."

Some children will not act "age appropriate." This is OK!!!!!! Don't force a child who has experienced trauma to act like everyone else in their peer group. Some children will want to act like a baby. They will want to be rocked, etc. It's OK. Kids are very good at telling adults what they need. We just stink at listening. Some children will act much older than they are. They may have had to do this in their former home to survive. Don't force them to stop this behavior instantly. Ease them back into childhood. Ease their fears and let them know that you will be taking care of things now and they don't have to. Many children have been making their own meals and washing their own clothes from a very shockingly young age. You can't just take this away in an instant but you can ease them out of these adult responsibilities and guide them back in childhood.

I guess the bottom line is to just expect that the child who is coming to your home will be coming with a whole set of completely different experiences than your home. Slow transitions work best coupled with tons of respect for the child's background and preferences.

If you want to foster parent and all of this seems completely foreign and scary, just do it. You will learn. You will be so blessed. You'll make mistakes and you'll get better. There are so many kids who are counting on you to push past your fears and doubts and just open your heart to them.

Foster parenting support

2011-08-24T20:35:00.000-04:00

Becoming foster parents for the first time can be very overwhelming. The child welfare systems of our country are overworked. There is very little time to sit down with foster parents and explain procedures or lend support.

We received so much from many people and in hindsight there are a few things I wish someone had suggested to me. I'll share them here for families who are just beginning or considering foster parenting.

Buckets, buckets, buckets.... Storage bins are your friend. You will want to have some key supplies in your storage room, closets, or garage.

Are those areas full? Well, I would challenge you to weigh the importance of what is in there. Do you need a giant snowman to put on your lawn during the "holiday" season? Do you need 7 boxes of comic books left over from your childhood? That precious space, that is probably holding some pretty worthless items, could hold items that will welcome a needy child into your home. I think Jesus would pick the foster care supplies over the giant snowman.

Clothing Buckets
You'll want to have many buckets for clothing. Label one bucket for "BOY - Newborn" and one for "GIRL - Newborn." Then "BOY - Size 0-3 months" and "GIRL - Size 0-3 months." Keep going up to the size of the age of the children you are approved to foster. Yes, it's A LOT of buckets, but when a child arrives to your home at 3am in her pajamas and a dirty diaper and nothing else, you will be so thankful.

Ask your church and neighbors for hand-me-downs for your foster care clothing supply. You'll be shocked at how many people will flood your home with clothing. It takes a lot of work to get the clothes washed and sorted into the correct buckets but it's really worth the effort.

Underwear and Socks
Also, try to ask for donations of NEW underwear and socks for boys and girls in all sizes. Ask people to consider giving this to you on a regular basis. Try to give the children who come to your home new underwear and socks. Foster children rarely ever have any personal possessions and all of their clothes are used and borrowed. Try to let each foster child leave with the underwear, socks, and maybe even the clothes they were wearing at your house. They have so little to comfort them as they bounce from place to place and something as simple as keeping their own underwear and clothes makes a huge difference.

Bibles
Keep a supply of Bibles that are appropriate for all the ages you are approved to parent and give each child who comes to your home their own Bible to keep.

Hygiene Supplies
Again, ask your friends, neighbors, and church to donate combs, brushes, toothbrushes, children's toothpaste, flossers, deodorant, nail clippers, skull caps or doo rags for African-American boys, silk sleep caps for African American girls, lotion, thermometers, children and infant tylenol and motrin, children's tummy medicine (the last ones are SO important as children in crisis will have lots of headaches and tummy aches).

Baby Supplies
If you desire to foster newborns and babies, you will need a big bucket or several small buckets for baby supplies. Ask around for donations of high chairs, bouncy seats, car seats (in all sizes), strollers, burp clothes, bottles, bottle cleaning tools, dishwasher baskets for baby bottles and sippy cups, sippy cups, baby spoons, baby bowls, potty chairs, baby tubs, older baby bath seat, bumbo seat, baby blankets, carriers, diaper bags, pacifiers, pacifier clips, baby nail clippers, baby combs and brushes, baby soap, baby lotion, diaper cream, wipes, something to easily sanitize bottles like a microwave steamer.....hmmm, I think there is more.

Baby Food and Diapers
Keep on hand a small supply of formula, baby cereal and baby food. We picked up a brand new baby girl at the hospital. She was 2 days old and we had no baby supplies at home. The hospital sent us home with about 2 days worth of formula and diapers but do you really want to take a 4 day old baby to Walmart? Also, keep on hand one package of diapers in each size. That way, you'll have what you need. Also, keep pull-ups and night-time pull-ups as bedwetting comes with trauma. (That reminds me, it's best to have waterproof sheets on beds that will be used for the children. Bedwetting is so common and not their fault. It's humiliating for the older kids and not having to worry about your mattress will save them some heart ache.)

New Stuffed Animals
Ask people to donate new stuffed animals and keep them in a bucket. Then you can let each child choose a buddy from your bucket and keep it wherever they end up going. Anything you can think of that would offer comfort to a confused and hurting child would be great to keep around.

Supplies for Older Kids
Older kids are just as confused and hurt in their situations as the little ones but they will express their grief differently. Keep on hand art supplies of all kinds and drawing journals. Also, keep writing utensils and writing journals. DON'T LOOK IN THEIR JOURNALS!! If they allow you or want to show you, then proceed with caution and be gracious but don't look into their journals without permission.

When we were told that we shouldn't take in children who are older than our oldest children, we didn't think that was valid. We learned through experience that although it doesn't have to be that way, it's best. Then your house is already set up for the age of the child. It's hard to figure out what teenagers like and do and need when you haven't already parented one. Again, it's not impossible, just easier.

Here's my last piece of advice..... Give the child all of the things that you can possibly give them should they leave your home. BUT don't give away your other supplies. I think I have bought and given away baby supplies a zillion times! I always think that we're "done with babies" and then God takes us down another path. Hold on to as much as you can so that you can be prepared for whatever blessings the Lord brings your way!

My brain is done for today.... I'll try to write more tomorrow.

We're negative!!!!

2011-08-24T12:20:00.001-04:00

As a part of the 17,845 papers that we had to fill out for our current adoption, we had to have a medical exam and get an HIV test.

Guess what! Court and I are negative!!!!

That means that we have lived with a person who is HIV+ for 18 months now and we didn't "catch" it!

(Yes, I'm being ~~immature~~ sarcastic.)

We have hugged her, kissed her (most often right on those cute lips), bathed her, changed her diapers, tickled her, lotioned her, combed her hair, swam with her, shared our drinks with her, shared our snacks with her, and zerberted her about a zillion times.

She has coughed on us, sneezed on us, tinkled on us, drooled on us, puked on us, and even got her blood on us.

All of this just DOESN'T MATTER!!!!

Spread the truth!!!!

You can only get HIV from birth, breastfeeding, sex and sharing dirty needles.

You can't get it in a family setting! You can't get it from loving a child!!!

Take that fear and flush it!

Sarah and Uncle Jeff talking on their "shoe phones."

So important.... so good....

2011-08-19T00:14:00.000-04:00

John Piper tweeted this today....

JohnPiper John Piper

God arranged for Ruth a holy tryst with Boaz so that the DNA of David would have Moabite genes to silence ethnic arrogance.

So good. Just so good.

So many miracles....

2011-08-12T10:25:00.000-04:00

Yesterday we were invited to record an interview for a radio show that will be used to raise money for the Children's Hospital.

I tried to think of a million excuses to get out of it. It makes me nervous to speak in front of people and I think my voice sounds excessively scritchy. I thought about calling and saying.... My hair's on fire. My dog ate the guinea pig and has to have it surgically removed. Our car was stolen by a band of gypsies.

None of those seemed effective so I sucked it up and packed up the kids and off we went.

All that worrying was for nothing because the radio and hospital staff were so kind to us. They had five stations with microphones and headphones so that there was one for me and each of the kids. I thought they were just going to ask me some questions but they included all of the kids too.

It was so much fun. The kids had a blast talking into the microphones and being recorded. I really wish I had remembered my camera. (I say that about 50 times a week....)

In typical "Jeffrey fashion," he tried to dismantle the microphone stand in front of him and couldn't stop fiddling with all of the buttons and cords. When they asked him a question, he just answered, "Hee hee hee."

Sarah went last and the DJ asked her one question and she went on a 5 minute schpeel about who-knows-what. I was tempted to translate for her but the DJ gave me the don't-interrupt-and-ruin-this-moment-finger-wave, so I kept quiet. I don't think he knows what she was saying but she said, "Brother love. Mommy love. Daddy love," and then went on to name every family member and friend follow by "love." It was awesome.

During my interview, the DJ asked me to take him through Sarah's whole story from the beginning. I hadn't thought about all the little details in awhile and it was such a blessing to review all of those miracles. God has been so good to us. Miracle after miracle after miracle.

The DJ said, "With all that you've told me, I think most people would be devastated. Where does your positive attitude come from?" One of the boys whispered into the microphone, "Jesus." Love that.

It's actually very easy for me to smile. My life is not the least bit devastating but rather....soooooooo great. Thank you, Jesus.

THEN

NOW

Grateful

2011-08-01T22:10:00.000-04:00

Soaking in the sun, admiring the ocean, playing with new friends, visiting family, hugging, loving... so blessed in this life of ours.

Hangin' at Gigi's house

2011-07-28T23:02:00.000-04:00

Among brothers and sisters, it doesn't matter your gender, your age, your skin color, your country of birth, your health status, your learning ability level, your hearing level....

Love is just love.

Thank you for my dust bunnies!

2011-07-26T01:10:00.000-04:00

Thank you, Lord, for the 4 loads of laundry I get to do each day.

Thank you, Lord, that my dishwasher fills up by noon.

Thank you, Lord, for the tiny fingerprints on every window and a glass door in our home.

Thank you, Lord, for the socks on the floor, the toys strewn about, the books spread out, the papers from wall to wall.

Thank you, Lord, for the tinkle on the seat and the empty roll of toilet paper in my bathroom.

Thank you, Lord, for the hours in urgent care, the dentist's office, the pediatrician's office, and all the therapy sessions.

Thank you, Lord, for my "mom jeans" and my gray hairs.

Thank you, Lord, for reminding me to count all of the things the world might think are burdens as blessings.

I.am.so.very.blessed.

Daddy's Girl

2011-07-25T01:44:00.000-04:00

To my princess.... May you always know that long before this super daddy was holding you, there was our Father in Heaven who was there all along. He adores you and knows you are fearfully and wonderfully made. May you choose for yourself a partner in life who will treat you just as tenderly as your Heavenly Father and your earthly daddy have done. I love you, sweet girl. You are beautiful.

A Very Special Wedding

2011-07-23T19:47:00.000-04:00

Today we attended a wedding for a very special and important person in our life. She was the adoption social worker who picked us out of all of the files to be Tyrese's forever family. She has been a close friend of our family since that day.

Her wedding was so touching. She and her husband are followers of Jesus and want to have a God-centered, God-honoring wedding and marriage. They made a decision to have no physical contact until after their wedding. They didn't hold hands, didn't hug, didn't anything. Even though they are not young 19 or 20 year olds, they had chaperones wherever they went during their engagement. When they grabbed hands for the first time during their vows, the tears fell in every eye and the electric energy could be felt for miles. Oh, how I pray this for my children. I pray that they will have marriages that are pure and honoring to God. Everyone does things a little differently and there is certainly no one way that is right before God but it's the HEART that makes it pure.

Mrs. M also first introduced us to the plight of orphans in Africa and God really used her stories of mission work in Malawi to bend our hearts toward Africa and international adoption. She is so kind to Sarah and always makes her feel so special.

Sarah loved every minute of the wedding. She loved the piano and violin music, she loved the dress, she loved the photos, she loved the candles. This girl is going to want a very pretty wedding one day. I think we'll start saving now and we've already started praying for the young man who will be blessed to be her husband one day.

As we were leaving the wedding, Tyrese told us that he wants to be Mrs. M's son. Ummm.... Should we be offended? :)

We love you, Mrs. M!

Sarah was pouting because she didn't like the way I did her hair and she didn't want to pose for the photo....

...thus the lack of smiling in the family photo before the wedding... :) Gotta love toddlers!

To love and be loved...

2011-07-17T10:22:00.000-04:00

Life can be so complicated. I'm not sure that God intended it to be that way. People spend so much time fretting over what other people should and should not be doing, as if we, mere mortals, should be so wise as to know what is right and true for all people.

Something occurred to me during a sermon at church.... If one is so disgusted with the grotesqueness of the world around, and one desires to see change, one need not look further than one's own heart.

For my children, I wish only a few simple things for them.

One of them is to love and be loved.

This week Sarah had two therapy sessions in our home. The first session was with her Deaf Mentor. We were sitting in the living room and Sarah was rambling and walked up to her and signed, "Jesus loves you." That might not seem like a big deal to most people, but for a parent of a child who usually cannot communicate with anyone outside of our family, this was very big.

Then the next moment came while her hearing loss specialist was here. Her name is Mrs. B and she might be one of the sweetest, most calming people on the planet. She meets with parents who have just found out that their child is either deaf or hard of hearing and comes weekly to walk you through what that looks like until the child turns 4 years old. It has been a huge blessing for us. Well, Friday was Mrs. B's birthday and all of the boys made her birthday cards before she arrived. When she came in the door, they ran and shoved their cards at her and yelled "Happy Birthday" and then ran off to play. About an hour later we were sitting in the kitchen filling out a language test for Sarah's periodic update.

She said, "Does Sarah know how old she is?" I didn't know so I asked Sarah.

She didn't know so I told her, "You are two. But your birthday is coming soon and you will be three."

Then she shouted, "Birthday! Happy Happy!" and ran to the schoolroom.

She came back with her own birthday card that she made for Mrs. B. She had seen her brothers do this earlier and she wanted to make one too.

It was just a piece of white paper with some tiny scribbles of crayon but it was one of the most beautiful birthday cards I have ever seen. It was beautiful because I didn't tell her to make it. She made it because she loves Mrs. B and she wanted to make it.

Mrs. B and I both fought back the tears.

Life doesn't really have to be so complicated all the time. Sometimes it's just about loving and being loved.

It's the thought that counts....

2011-07-14T10:29:00.000-04:00

We have lots of family birthdays in July and Tyrese was first up. He turned 8 last week!

I decided to make him a cake from scratch. Not the box kind either, the whole "from scratch" recipe. Well, it didn't exactly turn out how I had envisioned...

It actually tasted really good. It just looked bad. When I was finished with the cake, I realized we were out of candles so I stuck these random candles on it. (People complain that blogs aren't "real" and people just make themselves look perfect. Not so much over here. Ha!)

When Tyrese saw it, he said, "Well, at first I wanted to cry my eyes out, but I realized that you did your best!" Umm... At least he's honest. :)

We had a little get together with one other family on the weekend and this time I just bought a cake from the grocery store. It looks much better.

I'm hoping that Tyrese remembers the first one though. I hope he remembers that I love him so much that I tried so hard to make something special for him. I hope that my children will have lots of childhood memories like that. Not memories of fancy trips or expensive gifts, but time and love that we've poured into them.

Look at my beautiful boy...

Then Grandma made a cake for the birthday dinner celebration for all of the July birthdays. Her cake was delicious and looked nice so she wins the prize!

Happy Birthday Tyrese, Kellen, Aunt Tabi, and Grandpa!

If you drive it, He will fill it....

2011-07-12T20:22:00.000-04:00

We feel like God has something very special in store for our family, so we're just taking one little step at a time. And He is blessing us!

Thank you, God, for Your provisions!!!!

Look we what got today!!!!

This van was purchased by a man who works as a taxi driver and wanted to set up a business driving home drunk people from bars at night. The business didn't work out, so instead this van will be driving our growing family to church, soccer, the park, the grocery store, etc.

We're so happy!

We can't wait for the Lord to provide what we need to do what He wants for us. We have to take steps of faith and believe that He will provide.

You might have heard the expression, "God doesn't call the equipped. He equips the called."

This is how we want to live our lives. We're so excited to see what He has for us.

We're just so thankful!

Rolling along...

2011-07-10T19:51:00.000-04:00

We're in penny-pinching-adoption-in-process mode.

We're tightening all the budget categories and trusting God to fill it all in as He has over and over and over in the past.

It's amazing how much you can spend on food without knowing it....

We've been revisiting some old stand-by recipes and remembering how to feed our family on much less.

One recipe we love is for Picante Soup.

When I was a 4th grade teacher, one of my students was from a big family and her mom gave me a book full of her personal recipes. I wasn't even married at the time and didn't have any idea how valuable it would be down the road.

Here's the famous Tyler Family Picante Soup Recipe......

16 oz. can of each of black beans, kidney and pinto, washed and drained
1 cup picante sauce
8 oz can of tomato sauce
1 cup water
1 cup black olives (optional)
1 tsp. instant beef bouillion
3/4 tsp thyme
20 oz. can of tomatoes, chopped, undrained
1 tsp chili powder
2 tsp cumin

Combine all, simmer 1 hour.

Double this and freeze in ziplocs

Add cooked ground beef, ground turkey or chicken if desired...

To Serve: Put grated cheese in a bowl, pour soup on top, top with dallop of sour cream. It's also awesome on top of tortilla chips.

It's healthy, almost fat free, with an option to be vegan..... Good stuff.

I'm a terrible cook. I want to be a good cook, but I'm just not. Even I can't screw up this recipe. Easy, cheap, yummy, fast!

Sarah ate 2 bowls (adult-sized bowls, that is) yesterday and 2 more today.

I think it made her look like this...

Just kidding. She was trying to scare her daddy who was resting on the couch. Funny girl!

Where You Go, I'll Go...

2011-07-04T20:57:00.000-04:00

Phew... Last week was a busy one!

We took the dog to the vet, got fingerprinted a zillion times, got TB tests, drug screens, and medical exams for everyone. We finished up Sarah's IV antibiotics and she got her PICC out on Friday morning. Then we drove 3 hours to see her ear doctor for a check-up on how her surgery is healing. It's OK, but needs to heal much more. Eventually she'll need the same surgery on the other side, but this side has to heal first.

We powered through our 4th home study. We knocked it out and it knocked us out too.

Saturday I got a killer migraine. The lights.must.be.out.sick.to.your.stomach kind and I'm still feeling woozy 2 days later.

Today our refrigerator quit on us and we lost lots of money in spoiled groceries.

I'd say that's all pretty par for the course of an adoption! :)

We're dusting off our boots and gearing up for another great, full week.

Last night we went to Passion City Church where Chris Tomlin is the worship leader. There is so much power in hearing this song live!

Where you go, I'll go

Where you stay, I'll stay

When you move, I'll move

I will follow you

Who you love, I'll love

How you serve, I'll serve

If this life I lose, I will follow you

I will follow you

We ended the weekend with a nice time at Grandma's house for the 4th. Thank you Grandma and Grandpa for the great dinner and thank you Aunt T and Uncle E for the awesome fireworks! We even had a super exciting thunderstorm that took out a tree in Grandma's front yard!

My sentiments exactly...

2011-06-21T16:20:00.002-04:00

This is from my friend, Amy Block.

HIV - A Year-At-A-Glance

2011-06-21T00:10:00.000-04:00

I received many e-mails with questions about some of my previous posts about HIV so I'll try to answer those here.

M wrote....
"I was wondering about what an HIV+ child's life will look like when they are older:

What will their marriage relationship be like? --will there be sexual intimacy? or other alternatives?

Would they be able to have children? --In your last post, it said HIV is contracted through pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, but then it also said that HIV+ people can have healthy babies. How would this happen?"

According to our doctor, a person who maintains an undetectable viral load is capable of having a healthy marital relationship without risk of passing the virus to the uninfected spouse. A woman can also have birth children without passing the virus to her child IF the mother has healthy viral loads and follows her doctor's orders for medications.

Children who contract HIV through pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding do so because their mothers are not taking antiretroviral medications.

A wrote:

"Are you worried that your daughter will be mad that you told other people that she is HIV+?"

We aren't worried. (There are plenty of other annoying things about us that she's sure to pick up on first... :) )

In all seriousness, we plan to be very open and honest with our children with regards to HIV. Our daughter hasn't done anything wrong and she doesn't have anything to be ashamed of. Honestly, we live a very normal life and the topic of HIV just doesn't ever come up. We don't walk around with signs and yell out on the street corner that she is HIV+. We just don't hide either. Every family has to choose the path that is right for them. Some families don't tell anyone, not even the child. Some families tell only close friends and family. It is a very personal decision and there isn't one correct answer.

We work hard to tell all of our children that they are defined by God, not by any other circumstances of their life. My daughter is not her HIV. She is amazing and joyful and smart and charming and strong. I'm excited to watch her grow up because I know that she is going to do amazing things and none of that is controlled by HIV.

HIV isn't who we are. It's just one little part of our lives. I talk about it a lot of our blog because this is a place for me to share my heart and also share information. On a daily basis, I'm not out pounding the pavement looking for people to talk to about HIV.

B wrote....

"You make it seem like it's no big deal to have a child with HIV, but I saw that you were in the hospital this week. That seems opposite of what you said before."

Sarah's current health issues stem from a nasty ongoing infection in her ears that she had when she lived in Uganda. It doesn't have anything to do with HIV and it's not complicated by HIV. Once her ears have healed, she won't have any anticipated surgeries or hospital stays more than any other child would expect to have.

I'll try to answer more questions tomorrow....

So what does a year look like parenting a child who is HIV+?

Well, the first few months home are usually very hectic and busy and little scary. There are new routines to learn, new procedures to follow, new environments, and lots of changes.

The medications for HIV, antiretrovirals, sometimes called ARV's or ART and sometimes called HAART (highly advance anti retroviral therapy), are very strong medications and usually kids have a tough time adjusting at first. The medications hurt our daughter's stomach and caused problems that way. One of the medicines is very strong and alcohol-based and tastes awful so it took some time for her to get used to it.

After those first few months of adjustments..... life calms down. (Or it did for us.)

We have to take our daughter to get her blood drawn every 3 months. This involves us going to the children's hospital, signing in, waiting for a few minutes at the lab, getting the blood drawn and heading home. It takes about one week for the results to come in so we schedule our check-ups with her pediatric infectious disease doctor for the week after the blood draw. He shares her "numbers" with us and looks her over. He adjusts her medications if she's gained a significant amount of weight and that's it.

Sarah's HIV is undetectable now which is AWESOME! Once her doctor sees a steady hold in her good numbers, she will only have to get her blood drawn every 6 months and have check-ups every 6 months. Once she has had a steady set of numbers for a couple years, our doctor said that he is comfortable moving her appointments to once per year, just like most children have a well-visit once a year.

We also have check-ups once a year with an ophthalmologist and see the dentist just like normal.

A little update on Sarah's PICC line....

All is going well and the medicine is not making her sick like it did last time. Praise God for all the good news. We're praying that her ears will finally be free of the infection and we can move on from this.

Hanging out in the children's ZONE last week.

Waiting for Sarah to get back from her PICC line procedure. (And enjoying the free cable TV. :) )

Lessons I'm learning from my daughter...

2011-06-18T15:06:00.000-04:00

Power through then let it go.

This is what I learned from Sarah the past two days.

We were supposed to go into the hospital at 11am, get a PICC line placed into her arm, and be discharged later in the day so that we can give her IV antibiotics for her nasty ear infections.

Um.... Well, not so much.

The first PICC line didn't go in. So she had to get an IV started and get her first doses of antibiotics in the hospital, spend the night, and try again the next day.

It was brutal. I held my daughter, or rather held her down, while she was stuck about 10 times trying to get an IV in, having her IV clot off, failed IV attempts, moving around the IV "needle" while it was in her arm, wrist, and both feet trying to find the vein, failed shots in the muscle of her leg to calm her, oh, and 21 hours without food or drink.

21 hours without food for a girl who has been on the brink of starvation is hard to watch. She begged me for food. Not in the normal toddler bratty way of begging. She looked me right in the eye and signed "eat" and said "eat" and a tear rolled down her face. Over and over.

I prayed a thousand prayers for mercy.

Last night she got to come home. The PICC line is in and we have to give her antibiotics through the PICC line every 8 hours for the next 14 days.

Today I look like I got hit by a Mack truck.

And Sarah... well, she's completely her old self. She's dancing and laughing and singing and playing and eating and reading books and hugging and smiling. Not one hint that she endured anything out of the ordinary just yesterday.

I started to think about my own behavior. Wow, I sure was feeling sorry for myself. What about the mothers around the world who don't have food to give to their children and "tomorrow" is not coming? What about the children who are chronically ill in the hospital who may never come home? I felt bad about my pouting.

Truth is - It was hard. It stunk. It's over. Move on.

I haven't forgotten about the next post regarding Parenting and HIV. We didn't anticipate this hospital stay being like this. I'll continue tomorrow as I planned. :)

Here's a video of us at The Zone which is an awesome children's play area. It was a great distraction for Sarah. She didn't ask to eat for the whole 2 hours we were there. Lowe's came that day to do projects with the kids. Court almost lost an eye with Sarah and her hammer.

Sarah getting to eat after 21 hours with no food or drink. She moaned and danced her way through this giant tray of food. :)

When Court told Sarah that she was going home, she just started dancing and celebrating!

Go Sarah! Go Sarah! Get your groove on! Go Sarah!

Everything is back to normal today. Well, our kind of normal. Sarah dressed up like Darth Vader and attacked Jedi Kellen in the basement. :)

As requested....

2011-06-15T15:07:00.001-04:00

A few people asked for copies of the hand-outs we keep in our diaper bag.....so here it is! If you can't print this or copy/paste, you can e-mail me for a copy. :)

I would love to give credit to the authors and sources but I just can't remember who we originally "stole" these from.... Thank you to whoever it was.

"Don't spend time worrying about weird and obscure ways of transmitting the virus. The simple fact is that if no one shared needles and everyone wore condoms, the HIV epidemic would disappear." - Joel Gallant, M.D., M.P.H., Professor of Medicine and Epidemiology in the Division of Infectious Diseases and Associate Director of the Johns Hopkins AIDS Service at The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine

According to:

* U.S. Centers for Disease Control (CDC)

* The National Institute of Child Health and Human Development

* US Department of Health and Human Services (AIDS.gov)

* Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine

* NYU Medical Center

* The National Institute of Allergy & Infectious Disease

* American Academy of Family Physicians

* UNAIDS – The Joint United Nations Program on HIV/AIDS

* The American Foundation for AIDS Research (AMfar)

* University of California Medical Center

HIV is transmitted in 3 main ways:

1. Having sex (anal, vaginal, or oral) with someone infected with HIV

2. Sharing needles and syringes with someone infected with HIV

3. Being exposed (fetus or infant) to HIV before or during birth or through breast feeding

HIV is a fragile virus. It cannot live long outside the body. As a result, the virus is not transmitted through day-to-day activities such as shaking hands, hugging, or a casual kiss. You cannot become infected from a toilet seat, drinking fountain, doorknob, dishes, drinking glasses, food, or pets. You also cannot get HIV from mosquitoes.

The ONLY body fluids that have been shown to contain transmittable concentrations of HIV are:

* blood

* semen

* vaginal fluid

* breast milk

Some people fear that HIV might be transmitted in other ways; however, no scientific evidence to support any of these fears has been found. If HIV were being transmitted through other routes (such as through air, water, or insects), the pattern of reported AIDS cases would be much different from what has been observed. For example, if mosquitoes could transmit HIV infection, many more young children and preadolescents would have been diagnosed with AIDS.

All reported cases suggesting new or potentially unknown routes of transmission are thoroughly investigated by state and local health departments with the assistance, guidance, and laboratory support from CDC. No additional routes of transmission have been recorded, despite a national sentinel system designed to detect just such an occurrence.

Over the past 28 years, HIV/AIDS has been carefully tracked by the Centers for Disease Control, there have been only 8 reported, though unconfirmed, cases of household transmission of the virus.

(It is important to note that among those 8 cases were hemophiliac brothers sharing razors, some elderly women not using simple universal precautions for years, and some individuals living in bizarrely unsanitary conditions, further proving that under ‘normal’ household conditions, the virus is almost impossible to pass. - Also there have been no further cases since 1994, likely due to vast changes in the ratio of people w/ AIDS vs. HIV and the life altering improvements in medicine.)

* HIV is a virus that infects cells of the immune system.

*Without treatment, HIV is fatal. However WITH treatment people are living almost as long as those without the disease.

*On average, people with HIV need to take medications twice daily. They also need to have lab work and see a specialist quarterly.

*HIV is spread through sex, drug needles and birth.

*HIV is blood borne, not air borne. HIV cannot be spread by saliva, tears, sweat, urine, or feces.

*HIV is not spread through casual, household contact.

*As of 2009 there were over 1 million people with HIV in America.

* Children with HIV are perfectly safe to be around, hug, kiss, and share food and bathrooms with. For this reason, generally people with HIV are not required by law to tell ANYONE about their condition, including schools and even dentists.

HIV FACT SHEET

About HIV:

HIV stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus. HIV makes copies of its own genetic material inside human T-cells. It then uses the T-cells to make more of the virus. This process destroys the healthy T-cells, destroying the immune system. If left untreated HIV can progress and develop into AIDS.

AIDS stands for Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, and occurs when HIV advances and weakens the immune system to the point that the body can no longer fight off illness and infections.

HIV is not AIDS. AIDS can develop as a result of HIV infection if left untreated.

While there is currently no cure for HIV or AIDS, the medications that are now available to treat HIV are highly effective. HIV is now considered a chronic illness, rather than a terminal disease. HIV positive individuals who are receiving treatment can live indefinitely without developing AIDS.

Studies show that people who are HIV+ and have access to treatment can have close to normal life expectancy. HIV+ children can grow up, get married, have healthy babies and can expect to live long enough to meet their grandchildren.

With treatment, the amount of HIV in a person’s blood can be brought lower than an HIV test can detect. Most people who adhere to their anti-retroviral medication regime have an undetectable viral load.

HIV is not an air-borne or food-borne virus and dies quickly outside the body. HIV can only be spread from mother to child (through pregnancy, birth or breast milk), sexual activity that mixes body fluids (such as blood, semen and vaginal fluid); and intravenously (such as sharing needles.)

HIV+ children are not a risk to people around them, as HIV cannot be spread through casual contact. It is not spread through hugging, kissing, holding hands, coughing, sneezing, touching a toilet seat, changing diapers, sharing food and drinks, sharing a bed, bathing, swimming or any other casual way. HIV is not transmitted through urine, stool, mucous, tears or sweat. Since anti-retroviral medicines were introduced in 1995, there have been no documented cases of HIV being transmitted through contact in a household, educational or childcare setting. No one has ever become infected due to contact with an environmental surface. For more info about transmission, see the CDC website.

With the amazing advances in treatment for HIV, many families find that their primary concern is not medical, but is the fear and stigma that still accompanies the disease. Each of us needs to decide to not live in fear and ignorance, but to be educated about facts. People living with HIV deserve to be treated with love and respect.

Please remember that confidentiality laws protect an individual’s HIV status. It is illegal to disclose a person’s HIV status without his/her permission or to post information about a child’s status online without permission from his/her guardian.

HIV is everywhere now. There are over 1 million people in the US living with HIV. These individuals are cooks in restaurants, hair stylists, massage therapists, lawyers, doctors, pharmacists and waiters. They attend schools and daycares with our HIV negative children. This should not alarm you because you are not at risk by coming in to contact with these people. Avoiding infection is simple: use a condom and don’t share needles.

We are 267 TIMES more likely to die by lightning strike than to accidentally transmit HIV
There have been NO cases of HIV transmission in a household or other casual setting since anti-retroviral medicines were introduced in 1995.
There have been NO documented cases of HIV transmission in a sports environment
There have been NO cases of HIV transmission from one child to another

HIV and Family, Friends and Strangers and a random pink teeball helmet.... because I like randomness...

2011-06-15T09:29:00.000-04:00

It's very sad that in the United States, the most dangerous aspect of HIV for children is not anything that actually has to do with their bodies, but the STIGMA that still remains after all these years.

For our family, there were two major parts to sharing our story with family, friends, and strangers.... 1) deciding who to tell (level of disclosure) and then 2) sharing facts.

Disclosure is a sensitive topic. The bottom line is that each family has to decide what is best for them and proceed. Some families tell no one at all, not even the child. Some families tell only a very small circle of people and this circle may not include their family. Some families are open.

There isn't a correct way.... everyone has a right to do what fits their own circumstances.

We shared slowly. We started with a few people who are very close to us. We weighed their responses and then slowly began to share with more and more people. As we journeyed through this process, we realized that for us, it was going to be very stressful and painful to hide.

If we received 100 pieces of feedback, 98 of those were of love and support and understanding. I'll be honest and say that I spent too much time on the 2 that were negative. I'm just making up those numbers but I'm trying to show that the majority of people have been very supportive and it's tempting to spend time worrying about the tiny percentage of people who are not supportive. We're learning to share facts, listen, answer questions, and then move on. That's all we can do.

We gathered information from our infectious disease doctors, the Mayo Clinic website, the Project Hopeful website, another website called Positively Adopted, and the CDC and typed it into a 2 page document. We printed out several copies and carry them in our diaper bag.

Most people we encountered just didn't know about HIV. They had old, inaccurate information and were open to hearing the truth.

We've always encouraged people to seek the truth for themselves and not just take our word for it. If you google "HIV transmission" or something similar, a ton of reliable websites will appear. It takes only a few short minutes to read on multiple research based, well-respected websites that it is completely safe to live with, play with, hug, kiss, love, touch, and care for a child who is HIV+.

The most important element for us with sharing about HIV has been to never just drop the information on someone in passing. We have shared with all of our family and friends in a manner that included tons and tons of information and resources for them to find more information. We've always been open to answer questions.

A very small number of people have refused to accept truth. We've had to just let go of that. We've had a few who have built up their own truth about HIV, sort of a conspiracy theory type of attitude where they don't believe sources like our pediatric infectious disease doctor and the CDC. We've met other people who "have a friend who is a nurse and she says it's a big danger." We can't control another person's refusal to let go of fear and learn facts.

We have two doctors who have been treating children who are HIV+ since the beginning of the virus in the 80's. They've gone through the whole course of the journey from when all patients died of AIDS, to finding medicines that worked a little, to now when they have the virus completely contained with medications and no one has to die any more. One of them ran the entire HIV unit for the state of New York for a time. They are simply two of the world's most knowledgeable people on HIV.

If someone isn't willing to believe what these doctors say about HIV and transmission and safety, then they just aren't going to be convinced by little ole me. So we give it a try, and then let go.

A little bit about strangers...... People are wildly curious about anyone who looks "different." Our family draws a lot of curious looks and questions. Sometimes I'm shocked at the deeply personal questions that a perfect stranger will ask me in the grocery store right in front of my children. Being a people pleaser, I used to try to quietly answer and I thought that I was helping encourage others to adopt. I've learned that those people who are so bold to march up to me in the grocery store and ask an inappropriate question in front of my children aren't planning on adopting. I'm not doing any world changing in the produce section. I don't owe strangers any information on my family. My children are listening..... My answer now is something quick and dismissive like, "Our family was formed by God." or something that lets the person know that I'm not going to share our personal family history with them.

With our children, we're taking it slow. Our oldest knows everything and he's on his way to be a very well-educated advocate for people with HIV. He teaches me about my own attitude sometimes. Our middle son does not have a filter. He tells everyone everything. Out of fear that he would shout out in the middle of a public forum, "Hey everyone! My sister has HIV!" We've chosen not to tell him. He knows that she has a "blood disease" and she takes medicines every day to keep her healthy and alive. He doesn't really ask any other questions and we'll take it year by year with him. Our youngest son is very easy to tell things but he just has no interest. We try to start the conversation with him like this... "Jeffrey, Sarah has a very serious blood disease called HIV. She takes medicines...." "Um, Mom?" "Yes, Jeffrey?" "Can I go play now?" "Uh, sure." He's just not old enough to care or understand. :) So we'll just take it slowly with them and tell them what they are ready to hear.

We've been extremely blessed with an outrageously supportive family. We've received ZERO negativity from any family including grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, the whole shebang. However, some other friends have been very hurt by family. I feel very sad for them. It's hard to gauge someone's reaction until the information is already out there. One woman took her children to McDonald's and her cousin came in. Her cousin started screaming for all of the children to get out of the play area and she called the police because they were "infecting" everyone in the restaurant. Seriously?

Tomorrow I will post about what a year-at-a-glance looks like for parenting a child who is HIV+..... doctor appointments, medications, insurance, etc.

Thanks for listening. Would LOVE it if you would randomly ask a friend what they know about HIV and help us to end all this silly stigma..... Blessings!

A Day In the Life of HIV

2011-06-13T21:52:00.000-04:00

I receive e-mails every day asking questions about HIV. What an honor to be used to break down myths and lies and spread truth. I think I could type some of the answers in my sleep, and sometimes I get tired, but it's such an important task and I just can't believe I've been so blessed to be chosen.

OK....

What does a day look like as a parent of a child who is HIV+?

Here goes....

Wake up around 7:30 and head to the kitchen for medicines.

There are 3 medicines and right now they are all liquids. We found online stores that sell bottle adaptors and syringes. We also have a sweet friend, Valerie, who gave us a ton of syringes so we have a big stock pile. It takes about 20 seconds to fill the 3 syringes.

We have enough syringes for about 2 weeks. So every 2 weeks we dump all the used syringes into a big pot and boil them for 3 minutes. Easy peezy.

One medicine is 13 cc's, one is 7 cc's, and one is 2.5 cc's. She stands there beside us with her mouth open and takes them like a champ. Administering the medicines to her takes about 10 seconds.

It wasn't so easy at first. One of the medicines that most kids are on is made with alcohol. It tastes horrible and smells toxic. It used to take her breath away but she's able to swallow it now and it's no big deal.

When she gets a little older, we'll start teaching her to swallow pills by practicing with tic-tacs or some other small candy. Then she'll switch her medicines over to pills.

After the medicines.... we move on with the day.

***One little side note about the medicines.... When I give them to her, I always say, "Thank you, God for these medicines to help my girl stay healthy and live a long time." Teenagers with HIV sometimes grow tired of their daily medicines and want to stop them. I think it's compounded with the normal teenage "It won't happen to me because I'm a super human" feelings. We want to instill in our little one from a young age that these medicines are a gift from God and not a pain, not a chore, not anything negative. ***

There isn't anything that I have to do special for her for the rest of the day.

If she falls and bleeds, I do the same thing that I do for my other kids. I usually grab a paper towel or tissue and clean her up. We have latex gloves all over the house but she's never been hurt that badly to warrant the gloves.

One day she smacked her lip on the coffee table and there was a little blood dripping from her lip. To tell you the truth, I just reached out my hand and caught the blood before it dripped on our fabric couch. I wasn't scared and I wasn't being dumb either. There is simply NO WAY for me to contract HIV through my hand.

Some parents of kids with HIV have a common joke that we tell people when they ask if we are scared that someone in the house might "catch" HIV. We say, "OH NO! We are VERY strict with her. Under NO circumstances is she allowed to have sex, breastfeed, give birth, or share IV needles with ANYONE in the house!" I know that sounds crass but that's the facts.

NO ONE has ever contracted HIV from normal household living.

Not here in the US.

Not in Africa.

Not in orphanages.

No where!

You can only contract HIV from:
1) sex
2) mother-to-child through breastfeeding and/or birth
3) sharing used IV needles

So our day looks just like yours.... singing, dancing, hugging, kissing, playing, loving.....

And then when it's 7:30 pm, we do the medicine routine again and then it's bedtime.

Not too exciting, huh? HIV really doesn't affect our daily lives much at all. It's a part of our normal routine, just like brushing teeth or showering.

Tomorrow I plan to continue this discussion with how we deal with family, friends, and strangers with regards to HIV. Until then.... be blessed!

Privileged not to know....

2011-06-06T16:56:00.000-04:00

I would say that most of time, I'm a downer to be around. Most things I post are sad and disturbing. Most things I write about are tragic.

I'm sure I've been defriended many times for posting too many annoying stories of tragedy.

Have you read the book or seen the movie "The Secret Life of Bees"? If you haven't, I think it's worth your while. If you have, then you'll know what I mean when I say that I'm May. When someone cries in front of me, I cry. When someone hurts, I hurt. I tend to carry the weight of the world's whoas in my heart. Injustice maddens me. Evil makes me feel nauseous.

But then I started to think about knowing vs. not knowing. God doesn't have such a privilege. He sees it all. He carries it all, for real. He loves each one of us and He hurts for each one who is hurt. He sees the evil. He sees the injustice. He's not able to turn off the radio, TV, Facebook, blog, newspaper....

Should we be so privileged?

This week I read a terrible story about the Lord's Resistance Army in Sudan. They started their terror in Uganda which is how we were initially led to love Uganda. One of Court's students started a non-profit called Invisible Children that works and works to fight this evil group. They've been pushed out of Uganda, but not captured, so they have just spread their evil to other parts of Africa.

They are notorious for coming into villages and killing all of the adults. They steal the children and force them to become soldiers. The terrorize the children and scare them so badly that they force the children to kill their own parents. Then they made the girls go fetch water and the boys carry large metal drums. They boiled the water and made the children cut up their parents, boil them, and eat them. Then they took the children and they will make the boys continue these brutal acts and they will use the girls as sex slaves.

I felt like vomiting.

Why is this allowed? Why can't we stop them? Why don't people care? Why do people stop reading? Why? Why? Why?

Then my friend, Grace, posted this article about child sex trade right here in the United States. Please read it. Please don't fool yourself into thinking that such evil acts don't happen right here, right next door to you. Right under our noses.

Why can't we stop it?

Today a baby died at the orphanage where Sarah lived. The baby was one day old and came to the orphanage half eaten by a dog. They tried to take the baby to the hospital but it was too late.

Not to be a story spoiler..... but here's where I differ from May..... I'm not going to let them take me down. These tragedies tear up my heart but they don't steal my joy and my hope. I know that one day I am going to a perfect place that is free of evil. I know that my time here on earth is short and my time in Heaven will be forever. I hold on to that Hope when the tales of human suffering start to bring me to the point of breaking.

But I just don't think that it's fair for me to sit here in my comfortable life and CHOOSE to look away. So I'll keep reading and learning and listening to the hurts of others. And I'll keep sharing and posting and annoying. :)

30 Years

2011-06-05T13:24:00.000-04:00

Thirty years ago today, the first diagnosis of HIV/AIDS was made.

I've read many times that HIV/AIDS is a completely preventable disease.... that not one more person has to be infected with the virus if we educate ourselves enough.

I think that's mostly true. But there is a very harsh reality that we have to accept also. Women and children are victims of sexual abuse all over the world, including our own backyards, every single day. Many women and children become infected with HIV through this abuse. So, yes, HIV is mostly preventable but we also still need to work towards a cure and a vaccine to protect people who don't choose to participate in the behavior that infects them.

Just out of curiosity, which of these girls do you think is HIV positive?

Please read their Stories of Hope on the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation website to find out the answer.

http://www.pedaids.org/What-We-re-Doing/Stories-of-Hope/Janice--United-States

http://www.pedaids.org/What-We-re-Doing/Stories-of-Hope/Zanele--Swaziland

Hard Day - It happens.

2011-06-04T20:42:00.000-04:00

Today was a long, hard day.

We are so thankful for a very successful surgery for Sarah, but she was really sore last night and early today. She cried and threw herself around all day yesterday, all night and most of today. She didn't settle her body for more than 15 minutes throughout the night. She slept in our bed so that we could make sure she didn't rip off her bandages, which she tried about a million times.

I closed my eyes around 6:30am and when I looked 2 minutes later she had ripped the whole thing off. I guess you can't expect too much from a two year old. She doesn't understand what happened and she doesn't understand why she can't take it all off.

Ear surgery can leave a person feeling very dizzy for several days. That, plus the heavy pain medication makes it impossible for her to walk or sit unattended. She doesn't like this either so we were fighting her and catching her all day. Needless to say, we're pooped.

By dinner time she seemed to be feeling better so we grabbed some quick dinner and some groceries. She did great but she was wiped out by the time we got home.

She was crying for her own bed so we let her sleep there tonight. I am PRAYING that she doesn't rip out her bandages and her stitches. She has a scar the full length of the back of her ear and if she picks at it, we're going to have a big problem.

I was so happy rejoicing for the wonderful, successful surgery, our awesome doctor, and all of the many blessings that I forgot how hard the recovery was going to be with a 2 year old.

Oh well. These things make us stronger. We've been here before and I'm sure we'll be here again.

I would really love a long nap though.... :)

Hoping to post some photos of Sarah with her smile back soon. She's not feeling very photogenic right now.

Done with Surgery

2011-06-03T14:36:00.000-04:00

Dancin' in the streets...

2011-05-30T20:58:00.000-04:00

So there's this young guy who has been dancing on a street corner near us every single day for a few days now. We drove by him tonight and Kellen said he wanted to go dance with him.

And he did.

And it was awesomeness.

And I love my life.

Here's the driving up to the corner.... You have to look for the guy in the white shirt..... It's tiny and really quick.....

And here's Kellen dancing with him....

We're going back tomorrow with some new moves and a boombox. We plan on blaring some Toby Mac or Lecrae or Grits or Canton Jones. So.not.kidding.

Kellen - I hope you NEVER, EVER lose your ability to dance on a street corner. I love you so much.

Psalm 149:3 Let them praise His name with dancing...

Doin' the Happy Dance!!!

2011-05-24T08:08:00.000-04:00

We had a great, great, great day Monday. The doctor's appointment was awesome! We are so happy with our doctor and Sarah will begin a series of surgeries next week. No more being put off for months, etc. We are so thankful and so happy. Baby girl is on her way to getting even healthier!

After the doctor visit, we headed over to the science center that is 2 minutes from the doctor's office. We had a great time. The kids learned a lot and it was awesome just to see them having fun together. Thank you, Grandma, for helping us keep everyone rounded up!

Thank you to everyone who prayed and encouraged us and helped us to get this far. Thank you, Ashley and family, for the super sweet travel goodie bags! The kids were so thrilled. They felt so special!

On the road again...

2011-05-22T21:28:00.000-04:00

We're headed to the next state over again tomorrow to try to find a great medical plan for Sarah. This has been more difficult than we ever thought it would be. We're praying that we get good news and a great game plan for her infection tomorrow. We'd love it if you'd pray for her too.

We'll update tomorrow or the next day....

Happy Sunday!

Handsome.... and those eyelashes.....

Daddy was having fun with his new camera doo-dad.

Sarah LOVES Elmo. She calls him "Mo-Mo" and she signs the sign for "cat" because she thinks he's a cat. I think "cat" is better than monster anyway.

We are foster-adoptive parents again.... only this time to an old, hefty Golden Retriever hunka, hunka, burnin' love. This dog is SAAAAA-WEET! He's not in the greatest health and a little rough around the edges but aren't we all? He's therapy for this mama's soul and we're so happy to have him.... drool, stinky breath, fur and all. :)

Guarding the princess....

Happy Adoption Day, Tyrese!

2011-05-12T09:57:00.000-04:00

Last Saturday we celebrated SEVEN YEARS of being Tyrese's legally adoptive family.

We love you so much, Tyrese! What a blessing it is to be your parents.

On Tyrese's adoption day seven years ago, we invited all of our friends and family to come to the court house and we planned a big party for after the court hearing. Grandparents flew in from out-of-town, plans were made.... and then Tyrese got really sick that morning. We had to take him to the hospital and he was admitted. It was too late to call everyone and this was before everyone had cell phones, or at least before we did. Some of the grandparents had to go to the court house and tell our friends who were arriving that there would be no celebration. Then we had to call around and cancel the big party. Court and I had to pull ourselves together and go to the court hearing. Thankfully, the juvenile court house was across the street from the Children's Hospital. I was 8 months pregnant with Jeffrey and my face was tear-stained. the other families were all dressed up and happy and we must have looked so weird to all of them. It was hardly the picture we had envisioned. Grandpa had to stay with Tyrese in the hospital and hold him while they put in his IV. It was obviously pretty bad because when we returned to the hospital Grandpa's shirt was covered in blood. Since he's a doctor and I'm a wuss, it was probably for the best that I missed that ordeal.

Most people have these really cool photos of their child's adoption day in the courthouse with the judge but we missed out on that. You know what is really weird? Sarah was in the hospital for her adoption court hearing too. We don't have any photos with her judge on her special day either. If we are ever blessed enough to adopt again, we'll be walking on pins and needles on the day of the adoption court hearing! :)

Well, Tyrese is fine now and he's all healed from the problems he had back then. He's actually our most healthy child. And his smile can knock me off my feet.

I love you so much, Tyrese, forever and ever!

Lydia

2011-05-09T11:03:00.001-04:00

Lydia was a teacher at the babies home where Sarah lived. She is one of the most beautiful human beings I have ever met.

Thank you, Grace, for the video.

A Gift

2011-05-03T14:05:00.000-04:00

Today we were given a gift.

It's not a gift you can hold or touch or see. It was a gift for our hearts.

Today we got together with our very first foster son and his birthfamily. He was a baby when he lived with us and he's 3 1/2 now. His mom looks great and they have another baby boy who is 20 months. Both boys were so sweet and loving and it was evident that they are loved and well-cared for.

His mom and I were able to have a great talk about Jesus and forgiveness and family and children and love.

Foster parenting brings a lot of unknowns. Sometimes children come into your home for a short time but stay in your heart forever. They leave your home and many times you never know where they go after that. You don't know if they are safe or loved or any details at all.

Sometimes people tell me, "I could never be a foster parent. It would be too hard." Well, it is hard. Really, really, hard. But hard is OK. Hard is good. And people will say, "Isn't it tough on your own kids?" Well, yes, it is. When this first foster son left, our boys cried and cried. It took many months for them to grieve his absence. Joy flowed through me to see them hug him today and play with him and for them to see that he is doing great.

Although he is no longer in our home, my heart will love that precious boy forever. What a truly precious gift to be allowed the chance to see him and hug him and know that he is thriving and just fine.

The Bird Whisperer

2011-05-03T08:42:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the blurry cell phone pics.... that's just how we roll most days. After I've packed up all the kids, the sunscreen, the diaper bag, the snacks, the water bottles, the stroller, and the zoo passes, I just rarely seem to remember the real camera. :)

Our zoo has a parakeet enclosure and they sell treat sticks for the kids to try to catch the birds.

The boys tried so hard to get the parakeets to eat the seeds off of their treat sticks, but on this day, they just wanted to hang out with Sarah. The boys were quiet and gentle and Sarah was loud and shrieking and jumping all around. Her arm was barely strong enough to hold the bird so she would "let them down" and the poor birds would have to take flight in mid air to avoid hitting the pavement. And still, they just kept coming back to her. Maybe next time, guys.

I Believe

2011-04-27T08:39:00.000-04:00

We're having a little bump in the road with Sarah's health. Her health hasn't changed but we're having trouble with appointments, getting a team of doctors together, etc. It has been weighing on us a lot lately because we just want Sarah to be well.

Sometimes a plan that seems perfect to us is not God's plan and His plans are the only perfect plans.

I love this song by Wes King...

I believe that God created the Earth and everything in it in 6 - 24 hour days.

I believe that God sent Jesus to be the Word made man on Earth.

I believe that Jesus lived a perfect sinless life.

I believe that Jesus was crucified to pay the price for my sins.

I believe that He rose from the dead.

I believe that by putting my trust in Him and living my life to follow Him, He has made a place for me to live with Him in Heaven for eternity.

If I believe alllllllllll of this, then I have to believe that He can heal Sarah. He is a great big God with great big plans for my daughter. My worrying, my anxiety or even my trust isn't going to change those plans, but how I deal with disappointment will change me.

I'm laying it all at the Cross, because I believe.

The Day Between

2011-04-23T22:26:00.000-04:00

I love airport homecomings!!!!!

That little fuzzy head by Mark's blue sleeve is his new teeny tiny baby sister.

We were so excited and honored to spend the "day between" Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday at the airport welcoming home baby Mark from Uganda. He is adorable! His parents Jeremiah and Sara are so great and they also have a son who just turned 2 and a brand new baby girl born in February. Three little blessings 2 and under! I felt like my day was really easy after seeing them. :)

You can read about their adoption journey at http://theochardsyield.blogspot.com/

Congratulations Cain Family!!!! Praise God for His endless Goodness!

Perfect Timing

2011-04-19T15:23:00.000-04:00

We drove to the next state over yesterday to take Sarah to see a specialist. The specialist in our city was booked until July. We told them that this was urgent, but they said they couldn't squeeze her in because they were overbooked.

So my dad found a really great specialist about 2 1/2 hours away.

It was the best doctor's visit I've had in my entire life. The office is like a home. Everyone was friendly. The doctor took his time with us and made a great plan for Sarah to get better. He even called around to find a pharmacy to make a special medicine that isn't really on the market.

We feel like we have a great plan for now. We're waiting for the pharmacy to concoct and send the new medicine and then she has to take it for 30 days. At that point, we'll travel back and see where we are then. Most likely she will have surgery to remove pieces of bone from her skull behind her ears.

When we returned home from the drive home, we found out that the other doctor's office here in our city called to say that they will fit us in now. Um.... no thanks.

We're so thankful for God's perfect timing. If we had received that call, we probably would have stayed here instead of making the road trip.

BTW... Sarah is an awesome car rider. We hit NASCAR traffic on the way there and I have never seen such a giant ocean of motorhomes in my life. The drive took us 4 1/2 hours instead of 2 1/2 and she never made a peep. That's a blessing considering most 2 year olds (not naming any names) in our experience do not do well with long car rides.

One bummer is that Sarah needs to stay as healthy as possible until this is all cleared up so she can't be around groups of kids. She's a social butterfly and she really misses all her friends at church and play groups.

We've been having "home church" which has actually been very sweet and blessed.

One foot in front of the other.....

We are supposed to build each other up....

2011-04-08T13:36:00.001-04:00

My children argue and say mean things to each other just like all children do. (Well, adults too, if we're being honest.)

When they do, I scold them. I want them to understand that the world can be a cruel place. There are plenty of people in the world who are going to knock us down. God made families for protection, love, and encouragement.

I tell them, "Families are supposed to build each other up, not tear each other down. We will only say things to each other that build us up. We will NOT tear each other down."

We have had a lot of negative comments about our life.... really from the beginning..... Things like...

Maybe you shouldn't marry this guy....

I'm so glad I didn't listen to any of that negativity.

Then it was "You're pregnant already. You haven't been married long enough to have a baby yet."

I would have missed being a mommy to this handsome flamingo if I had listened to that nonsense.

Then there was all the criticism of our desire to adopt the first time.

I almost can't breathe if I try to imagine my life without this guy in it.

Then we had to listen to all the negative comments about getting pregnant so quickly after bringing home Tyrese.

This boy brightens my life every single day and he and Tyrese don't remember life without each other.

Then we wanted to adopt again and again the negative comments came flooding in.

Again, I just can't picture our family without our princess.

And really, adopting in general just seems to bring about more criticism than support. Why is that? My life is not easy but it is so full of joy and these two children are a part of me.

Recently, some of my friends who are adopting have been getting negative pressures from their friends and families. I'm so sad to hear it but it's just so common.

One story really ticked me off. A friend was called in to have a meeting with her pastor. He told her that SHE WAS SINNING BY ADOPTING BECAUSE IT WAS MORE THAN SHE COULD HANDLE!!! Seriously!!!!!!???????!!!!!!!

The world is full of sin..... adultery, addiction, pornography, child abuse, lying, cheating, stealing..... but this pastor felt the need to call in this family and point out their sin of ADOPTING?!?!?!?!?!

I don't get it. I never will.

I hope that we, the children of God, can behave more like a family. Let's build each other up. Let's not tear each other down.

Why do I ask a Great Big God for little tiny prayers?

2011-04-05T20:41:00.000-04:00

Thank you again for all of the prayers and messages about Sarah's CT scan today.

We were so focused on the crummy IV situation, that we couldn't see anything else. We were praying and praying for the IV to go smoothly.

Guess what. God had another plan. She didn't even need the stinkin' IV!!!!! She laid perfectly still on the CT scanner and didn't make a peep! It was over in about 2 minutes and we were out of the door before her actual appointment time!!!

Thank you, God!!

I started to feel so silly about the worrying that I do. Why did it not even cross my mind that she wouldn't even need the IV?

We serve such a mighty God who is always so full of surprises. His ways are more than anything we can even imagine for ourselves. His plans, His path, and His timing are perfect and that will be my prayer for the future.

We were also blessed to have the results of the CT scan today thanks to Grandpa who takes such great care of us.

The results weren't good. She has some big bad infection and it's causing her a lot of trouble. She's going to need a surgery soon to start the fight against this monster.

I'm not excited about my princess having a surgery on the bones of her skull but there is something so strong inside of me that just knows..... very simply.... Thy will be done, Lord.

We love our pastor from our church in San Diego. He says very profound things in very simple words that seem to stick with you for years and years. He always tells his congregation, if you are praying for something that is possible, you are wasting God's time. God works with the impossible.

Lord, I'm asking You to heal my baby girl. I'm asking You to rid her body of this infection and heal her ears. I'm asking You to restore her hearing. I'm asking You to do all the things that the world thinks can't be done. May it all be for Your glory and Your Kingdom. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Thank you to Grandma for keeping the boys and making donuts from scratch! Awesome!

Hospital Tomorrow and More Bathroom Dancing

2011-04-04T14:45:00.000-04:00

Sarah's battling an annoying infection in her ears. She has to have a CT scan tomorrow so that the doctors can get a better picture of how far it has spread. In order to have the CT scan, she needs to have an IV first.

Children who have been severely malnourished experience very long term damage to their veins and organs. So although Sarah's body seems "healed" and definitely "nourished" on the outside, the inside still needs time to heal. It is SOOOOOOOO difficult for them to find a vein on her.

We would really love it if you would pray that they won't have to stick her over and over to get the IV tomorrow. Her appointment is at 9am so she can't have anything to eat or drink since the night before. (Unless we wake her up at 1am, which we are considering...) Since she will be a bit dehydrated, her veins will be even more difficult.

I'm so thankful that she's home and we live in such a blessed country. I'm thankful that we live in a city with a Children's Hospital. I'm thankful that, although our insurance isn't super great, it helps us pay our medical bills. We are very blessed.

Yesterday was Court's birthday and we went to hang out at the park after dinner. Sarah loved the swings but she couldn't figure out how to sign and swing at the same time! :)

Sarah is learning how to sign the "Happy Birthday" song and she loves it. She walks around and signs, "Hoppy, Hoppy, Hoppy" all the time.

When we're not at doctor appointments or therapies, we try to have as much fun as possible. For some reason, our bathroom seems to turn into a dance floor every night. (Yes, that's a math paper on the floor in the background. Yes, she's playing with a toothbrush holder. And yes, those are my jeans in the middle of the floor. No time for cleaning - we have dancing to do!)

Surgeries, Frogs, and Jelly

2011-03-30T15:59:00.000-04:00

Thank you so much for all of the prayers and messages for Sarah.

Sarah's little surgery went really well. Her left ear looks pretty good considering all the infection she has had in her life. The right ear looks not-so-good. She has a tube in that ear drum to help with the infection. Last year at this time, a doctor told us that she had no ear drums and she never would. It is a mighty miracle that she even has an ear drum to put a tube into this year. I can't wait to see what big things God is going to do this year. :)

Sarah will be having a CT scan to get some more information about the infections in her ears next week. She has to be sedated and they have to put in an IV for this procedure. They only do these procedures early in the morning so she won't have had anything to eat or drink for many hours. Dehydration makes her already extremely difficult veins even harder to stick. We would really love if you would pray that they won't have to make a pin cushion out of her this time. Last time made this mommy very sad.

I found this video from 2 years ago on our computer. There's nothing super exciting on it, I just love seeing my kids being themselves.

Watching old family videos makes me want to time travel. I just want to go back and hug them when they were so little. It does remind me to use every moment I've been given. Time flies right by.

Little surgery...

2011-03-29T23:21:00.000-04:00

Pretty girl is having a little minor surgery tomorrow. We'd love it if you would pray for her. Thanks....

Science Museum YAY!

2011-03-25T10:40:00.000-04:00

Please Support the Block Family

2011-03-22T14:48:00.000-04:00

Amy Block is very, very special to us. For many reasons, but probably mostly, because she introduced us to Sarah. :)

The Block family has two beautiful Guatemalan daughters. Guatemala is currently closed to adoptions to the US. But that is not because there are no orphans. There are 350,000 orphans in Guatemala with no chance of being adopted, to the US, anyway.

So, the Blocks, being the amazing family that they are.... are packing up and moving to Guatemala to help take care of the orphans there.

Please take a minute to watch their family video....

Would you please consider partnering with this family as they partner with the Lord caring for the least of these?

Tax deductable giving can be made at:

Commission To Every Nation
Todd and Amy Block
P.O. Box 291307
Kerrville, TX 78029-1307

Online giving at : https://www.denarionline.com/DonorServices/TEMPLATEPAGE.ASPX?COMP_REF=_CTEN&CONTENT=MISSIONARY&MISSION_REF=2A5F80D300

Follow their story at http://buildingtheblocks.blogspot.com/

A painful life...

2011-03-20T22:26:00.000-04:00

*** PARENTS please pre-read before allowing my little friends to read this post...

I know someone who was in foster care.

For privacy, I will call her Mary.

At 9 years of age, the police received a call that Mary was not in school. So they went to Mary's house and found human and animal feces all over the home. Mary was high at.nine.years.old. Her mother got her high. Her mother did this to her and sold her to men to make money to buy drugs. No one really knows how long this had been going on.

Mary was removed from the home and taken into foster care.

Because she had never been treated like a child should be treated, Mary didn't fit in to any foster families and was moved 14 times before finally becoming a runaway in her teen years.

At some point in her teen years, she became a prostitute to support her own drug habit. She had her first baby at age 14. And the second baby at age 15.

Mary has given birth to 7 babies and she doesn't have custody of any of them.

There is no happy ending to Mary's story that I am aware of. She is still addicted to drugs, still on the street, still in and out of jail.

This world is full of hurting people. Hurting children.

Please consider doing something very small to make a difference in the life of a child.

We:

*Just put our name "back in the hat" of the foster care system. Don't know if we'll get a call or not, but we felt like we could do something.

You can:

* Be a foster parent.

* Love someone who seems unloveable.

* Adopt an older child or a child with "special needs" or a "difficult history."

* Mentor a foster child.

* Tutor in an after school program once a week.

* Mentor a young parent.

* Tell as many people as you can about Jesus.

I'm not sure what can be done for Mary but I know that God is a miracle-worker and He doesn't give up on anyone even when the rest of the world has done so.

I know. I know. "We can't save 'em all." I've been told over and over. Let's do what we can to make sure there are less Mary's in the world.

Police in our living room and mud on our pants....

2011-03-14T20:15:00.001-04:00

This weekend we celebrated Grandma's birthday with a very special trip to a hibachi restaurant. The kids loved it!

After our fun weekend, we started the week off with a crazy Monday.

We had plans to go play with friends from church in the afternoon so we were kind of scrambling in the morning to get our school work finished, get chores done, eat lunch and head out.

I sent Tyrese to go get the mail and when he came back in he told me that two men in a pick-up truck stopped in front of our driveway. One of the men got out of the truck and approached him and asked if his dad was home. Yikes! I ran outside but the truck was already headed out of our cul-de-sac and I couldn't see much.

I called the police department and they came out instantly. They didn't find the truck though. I know that might seem like overkill for some of you, but our neighborhood has experienced an unfortunate high volume of break-ins, car robberies, etc. in the past few months.

The police office then came to our house to ask Tyrese more questions and the men and their truck. That made me feel even more suspicious. I kept hearing them on the radio asking more questions as they were looking around our whole city by then for the truck.

(Oh, BTW, our house is.... umm.... well.... a pit. We have toys and homeschooling papers and books and more toys and crafts and random pieces of clothing EVERYWHERE. I had to kick toys out of the way for the police officer to make it to our couch. Kind of completely humiliating. Oh, and Sarah was eating a peanut butter sandwich and got bored and rubbed the bread into her freshly moisturized hair. Not cute.)

I'm happy to go down in history as the world's most obnoxiously protective, sheltering mom. I'll gladly wear that badge. The fact that the police took it so serious made me think that this wasn't the first time.

Ugh. Why do people hurt children?

The officer was really nice to the kids and sat them down and gave them a talk about stranger safety and also told them that they should always try to remember as much as they can about cars like this and the license plates while quickly running away to safety. He told them to call him anytime that someone strange comes around and he'd be back out to check it out. I appreciated him making us feel safe as we were a bit freaked out by then.

After he left, we were late for our afternoon playdate but decided to head out anyway. What a blessing. We had never visited these friends before. They have the ultimate kids' play heaven. They have a long, long driveway with lots of bikes and scooters and green machines. They have a putting green, a trampoline and a zip line. They have lots of wooded land with little trails and wetland to explore.

Sarah sat on their Southern-style, beautiful porch and played with a tea set for most of the afternoon. She was so happy.

The boys were covered in mud and couldn't have been happier. I actually had to have them strip down to their undies to get in the car. My friend gave us a trash bag and we stuffed all of the their clothes and shoes in there and then put it straight into the washer at home. Daddy is currently digging the twigs out of the washer for us. :)

So thankful for the invitation to play in kids' paradise. It really turned the day around for us.

Thank you T family!!!

Rainy days....

2011-03-10T19:54:00.000-05:00

.... are a great excuse for play dates!!!

It was raining yesterday so we just played all morning and ate pizza with the Owens crew.

Yep. That's 9 kids, all under the age of 9, only 2 families, and counting... :) Ummm.... Madeline and Sarah - It's not time for the silly pose yet.

OK.... now do the silly pose.....

Hannah's over the silly pose..... Everyone else - not so much.

Davis was cracking me up all kicked back on the edge of the couch.

Still raining today, so we headed over to Hippo Hop to burn some energy with the Debardelebens.

The Hill Family showed up there with some other friends. The daddy of Litte Miss Va on the right is headed to Uganda soon with Sixty Feet.

Snack time!

Sarah wouldn't hug Ms. Melissa except for photos or when she had snacks in her bag. :)

Wow, Sarah, your nostrils are really clean. Why, oh why, can't I take great photos?

Nope. Jeffrey did not just take a shower, nor did he just get out of the pool. That's lots of hard playing at the jumpy place. Our car smelled awesome on the ride home.

So blessed to live near other adoptive families. We love playing with anyone and everyone but sometimes it's so nice to get a chance to hang around another family that looks like ours. :)

Awesome Music Video

2011-03-08T15:01:00.001-05:00

I Won't Do It!!!!!

2011-03-07T15:29:00.001-05:00

I've always been baffled by meanness. It just seems easier to be nice and speak with grace.

Adoption is beautiful. But it can be a heated community. And sometimes I want out. I want to run and hide and just do my laundry and love my kids. But every time I think I'm going to "unplug," an e-mail shows up in my inbox from someone who saw my family and wants to know how they could start the journey to adopt also. Oh, what a huge blessing.

So instead, I'm going to make a pledge. Anyone want to join in?

I WON'T criticize other adoptive parents because they didn't do things how I would have.

I WON'T write public posts about corruption and bribery in the adoptive world unless I have seen it with my own eyes.

I WON'T write public posts blasting a country's adoption practices, especially a country I have never stepped foot into.

I WON'T spread gossip about the "horrors" of adoption, the malpractices of others, and the bad intentions of adoptive families, or anyone for that matter.

I WON'T post "facts" and statistics and percentages without doing my own research and citing where I've found them.

I WON'T pretend to ever be an expert about orphans, orphan care, adoption, or poverty. It changes every single day.

I WON'T allow my passion for adoption and orphan care to ever lead me to write or say something nasty to another person.

I WON'T allow hate into my heart.

I WON'T ever forget that Satan hates adoption.

I WON'T ever forget that I serve a loving God who is bigger than all of this and has already claimed the victory.

Carolyn Tweitmeyer (from ProjectHopeful) is extremely special to our family. She is a parent to 13 children and in her "free time" she e-mailed me every day and worked behind-the-scenes for months to help us bring home Sarah.

Her family was featured on the Today Show today. The comment section on the msn website is full of encouragement and also full of hateful comments. Ugh. Makes.me.wanna.holler. But I WON'T.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Oh, I feel good!

2011-02-27T08:49:00.000-05:00

Thank you Grandma and Grandpa for the Valentine's Day card with the really, really, really long-lasting battery. :)

Ugh. I hate the sound of my voice. It sounds like nails on a chalkboard. Sorry.

Skin color

2011-02-25T18:26:00.000-05:00

I felt like this video was very enlightening and so valuable for multi-ethnic families to view. I hope you will take a few minutes to watch.